Mon, 08 Nov 2004
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Ohio Bound Blindly
Brian and I had discussed separating when we get
to Ohio. I have mixed feelings about it. I still
love him and he says he loves me but we are not
close and we don’t share our feelings with one
another. Well I do but I think that is what he
doesn’t like about me. I need honesty and truth
and I know that by holding back from being honest
by telling me how he feels or expressing joy when
he feels it is pretty much not being true. I need
to know when he is happy or sad or whatever and
he has no outwardly emotions besides anger. I
have never known him to be happy other then when
we are making love or when he has no apparent
stresses from work witch seems to be all the
time. He wears his stress on his sleeve and it
has always been apparent that he was not happy.
And in knowing that it seemed I could never be
the one to make him happy and that he is on his
own path. My walk with him is finished. Now I am
working on myself and the survival and growth of
my own soul in this lifetime. Stay tuned because
I got a lot of interesting stuff ahead of me to
come. Love Felicia
Posted 19:00
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10 comments
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I am utterly bored. This place so far is the
armpit of boredom...I gotta do somthing about
this lonesome state I'm in.
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Nice
Very nice.
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Life seems to be getting better. My view on
situations has changed dramaticly and I am not
so bored anymore. I believe that I suffer only
when I believe Im suffering. Pitty me no more
self. Life is a bed of roses. hehehe....funny
how attitudes change from time to time. stress
sucks...haha
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Try not to be so sad
You sound so sad - maybe you just aren't
with cool people - many of the 'knowledgeable'
are bewildered - or crooks - or both --
Maybe try and give a look at 'general health',
category 'other', 'taiji...' - it's not
finished but at least it has some pretty pictures
and some philosophical stuff maybe;
under the 'sharing' tab of your webtools folders -
reality is reality - some people aren't nice,
but no point to ignoring reality -
Try to be not so sad:
will check back under this comments section if
you comment on this comment
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(oops) 'tai ji ...'
guess there's a space between 'tai' and 'ji'
and the zoomshare browser finds 'tai ji'
-So try to not be so sad
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Thank you Li I appreciate your caring. I am not
sad but at times I fell like I dont belong here
with humanity. I loose faith that it can get
better. Im sensative towards pain and suffering
of humanity. I can go on and on about it but I
prommised myself that I would "wake up" a little
more so now my task is to" know " that it will
get better for myself and everyone els. Thanks
youa gain for your wonderful post I will look at
that site you mentioned. Love Felicia
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Kind Felicia
You are very kind and thoughtful --
and kind thoughts for others are part of what
humanity is all about -- You belong with
humanity because You're Human --
thank You for Your comment on my comment;
e-mail address to me may show up if You
click on the 'Read Entry Comments' above the
entry this comment is under -- please feel
welcome to write/comment back -- and try not
to feel lost or sad -- true faith is precious
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You still out there (?)
Hope You're doin' okay --
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I'm doing fine and I think you for your kind w
ords. I dont come to this site very often any m
ore but I will check in from time to time to s
ee whats going on. Maybe I will even add new b
logs. Oh I have been terribly busy since the m
ove to ohio. I started a new job working in the g
reenhouse at Murifield Golf Club. We are g
etting ready for the tournament and it has been a
hectic trying to get everything prepped and p
lanted in time. Life has been ok and my future s
eems bright as my daughter is soon to give b
irth to a baby girl. I'm excited. Lots of love t
o you Li. Take care.
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Hi Felicia --
Thank You for the note -- the greenhouse thing
sounds good -- plants can be part of a nice
environment -- Hope You and Your daughter are
doing well, and Hope You are having a nice day!
Hope to hear from You soon -- Bless You and Have
fun li
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