Felicia
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Mon, 08 Nov 2004
Ohio Bound Blindly

Brian and I had discussed separating when we get to Ohio. I have mixed feelings about it. I still love him and he says he loves me but we are not close and we don’t share our feelings with one another. Well I do but I think that is what he doesn’t like about me. I need honesty and truth and I know that by holding back from being honest by telling me how he feels or expressing joy when he feels it is pretty much not being true. I need to know when he is happy or sad or whatever and he has no outwardly emotions besides anger. I have never known him to be happy other then when we are making love or when he has no apparent stresses from work witch seems to be all the time. He wears his stress on his sleeve and it has always been apparent that he was not happy. And in knowing that it seemed I could never be the one to make him happy and that he is on his own path. My walk with him is finished. Now I am working on myself and the survival and growth of my own soul in this lifetime. Stay tuned because I got a lot of interesting stuff ahead of me to come. Love Felicia
Posted 19:00

10 comments



I am utterly bored. This place so far is the armpit of boredom...I gotta do somthing about this lonesome state I'm in.
Posted by Felicia


Nice
Very nice.
Posted by Phil



Life seems to be getting better. My view on situations has changed dramaticly and I am not so bored anymore. I believe that I suffer only when I believe Im suffering. Pitty me no more self. Life is a bed of roses. hehehe....funny how attitudes change from time to time. stress sucks...haha
Posted by Felicia


Try not to be so sad
You sound so sad - maybe you just aren't with cool people - many of the 'knowledgeable' are bewildered - or crooks - or both -- Maybe try and give a look at 'general health', category 'other', 'taiji...' - it's not finished but at least it has some pretty pictures and some philosophical stuff maybe; under the 'sharing' tab of your webtools folders - reality is reality - some people aren't nice, but no point to ignoring reality - Try to be not so sad: will check back under this comments section if you comment on this comment
Posted by Li


(oops) 'tai ji ...'
guess there's a space between 'tai' and 'ji' and the zoomshare browser finds 'tai ji' -So try to not be so sad
Posted by Li



Thank you Li I appreciate your caring. I am not sad but at times I fell like I dont belong here with humanity. I loose faith that it can get better. Im sensative towards pain and suffering of humanity. I can go on and on about it but I prommised myself that I would "wake up" a little more so now my task is to" know " that it will get better for myself and everyone els. Thanks youa gain for your wonderful post I will look at that site you mentioned. Love Felicia
Posted by Felicia


Kind Felicia
You are very kind and thoughtful -- and kind thoughts for others are part of what humanity is all about -- You belong with humanity because You're Human -- thank You for Your comment on my comment; e-mail address to me may show up if You click on the 'Read Entry Comments' above the entry this comment is under -- please feel welcome to write/comment back -- and try not to feel lost or sad -- true faith is precious
Posted by Li


You still out there (?)
Hope You're doin' okay --
Posted by li



I'm doing fine and I think you for your kind w ords. I dont come to this site very often any m ore but I will check in from time to time to s ee whats going on. Maybe I will even add new b logs. Oh I have been terribly busy since the m ove to ohio. I started a new job working in the g reenhouse at Murifield Golf Club. We are g etting ready for the tournament and it has been a hectic trying to get everything prepped and p lanted in time. Life has been ok and my future s eems bright as my daughter is soon to give b irth to a baby girl. I'm excited. Lots of love t o you Li. Take care.
Posted by Felicia


Hi Felicia --
Thank You for the note -- the greenhouse thing sounds good -- plants can be part of a nice environment -- Hope You and Your daughter are doing well, and Hope You are having a nice day! Hope to hear from You soon -- Bless You and Have fun li
Posted by li


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